Legal sbemail

Dear Strongbad, Alex,

Now that you’re 5/6ths of a lawyer, I was wondering if you’ve ever written a law casebook, what it was about, and what kind of laws did you try to teach the kids.

Your fan,
Steve Buttz

Sure I've written a casebook. Who hasn't? I mean, law students can barely read as it is, so how hard can it be to write for them? The casebook I wrote is called

Commentaries and Cases of the Law of Business Organization.

Commentaries and Cases on the Law of Business Organizations
No two corporations are the same.

Some people are about to be run over by a frolicking or detouring employee.
Frankie has about 5 seconds.


Some people are very tall and merciless.
Quincy is making a tender offer.


Some people set up LLCs.
Beth looks like a dude.

Some corporations are subject to Revlon duties.
Gregor is a weird name.

Some people have a duty of loyalty.
Some people have a duty of care.
Fran could play linebackers for the Raiders.

Some people have rigged the corporation with a poison pill.
Albert has.

Some people have shell corporations, and those are hot.
Trisha is a severe hottie.

Some people are being fangoriously devoured by a hostile takeover.
Hillary's assets are being digested.

Every corporation is different.
No two shareholders are not on fire.
Awwwww.

So there’s my casebook. Pretty good, eh Steve? And the laws we taught the kids were duties of loyalty, the law of agency, and um, linebacker. You know, education at its finest. Well some people need to go and get a life. Alex needs to go and get a life.

NOTE: If you are totally lost, go watch this, then come back. And if you still don't think this post was funny, well, I don't care. You write a humorous post, NERD.

Special thanks to Honor for inspiring for this post.

15 on 15 - Christmas Songs edition

Due to this being the end of the semester and the crazy tradition of final exams, explanations for this month's list will be light. And by light I mean non-existent. If you have any questions as to why something is on my list feel free to ask. The general answer is probably that "I have weird/eclectic/bad taste." Just as a general aside, I start the list off with a few humorous pieces that I expect most people will roll their eyes or groan over. Hopefully the top 10 in my list will be found a bit more palatable. But anyway, without further ado, my top 15 Christmas Songs (or Holiday Songs, if you want to be PC about it):

#15 - Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

#14 - You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

#13 - Snoopy's Christmas

#12 - Frosty the Snowman

#11 - Blue Christmas

#10 - Good King Wenceslas

#9 - We Three Kings

#8 - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

#7 - O Tannenbaum

#6 - O Little Town of Bethlehem

#5 - I'll Be Home for Christmas

#4 - Let it Snow

#3 - O Holy Night

#2 - White Christmas

#1 - Adeste Fideles

So this is what the inside of a courtroom looks like

I was in court yesterday, representing an actual client in a guardianship hearing. It was contested, but we prevailed. I've spent a good deal of time on this case this semester, so it was nice to see it come to a positive conclusion to wrap up the semester.

Yesterday's trial, by the numbers:

45 - minutes spent waiting for our trial to start (things were running a bit late)

4 - number of attorneys/law school interns present at the trial

1 - successful motion to separate witnesses (made by yours truly)

0 - number of opening statements given

6 - witness that I called and did direct examinations of

1 - cross examination performed

6 - documents I considered entering into evidence prior to trial

2 - documents I actually tried to enter into evidence

2 - documents successfully entered into evidence

1 - hearsay objection made by opposing counsel (to a power of attorney in probate court)

1 - quizzical look on the judge's face when the hearsay objection was made

0 - number of successful hearsay objections

1 - number of times a witness was distracted by "something shiny" while on the stand

1 - closing argument given by yours truly

2 - approximate number of minutes the judge spent before announcing his ruling

I'll also mention a few other interesting tidbits:

• I made no objections yesterday. My supervising attorney did make a few objections, but the judge was pretty much overruling everything. But that's not all that uncommon in bench trials.
• The judge didn't seem very interested in all the deferential niceties you learn in mock trail and trial ad. For example, after calling my first witness I asked the Court's leave to proceed. This was met with a somewhat snide, "That's why we're here." Also, requests for permission to approach the witness (with documents) were generally met with silence that I took to mean that I could move about the courtroom however I wanted.
  

Okay, now back to studying for finals, already in progress. (The studying's in progress, not the finals.)

Troy Smith wins the Heisman

GO BUCKS!!!

That is all.

Funny

The BCS computers have deemed that no team is worthy of facing the OSU Buckeyes in the National Championship. So sayeth The Onion.

Some of my favorite quotes from the article:

"No team in America deserves to even step on the same field as Ohio State, let alone actually play in a game against them."

From Lloyd Carr: "[Q]uite frankly, I'd be afraid for our guys' safety if we had to go up against that defense again..."

Urban Meyer admitted that "being the SEC champion was not the same thing as being Ohio State."

Anyway, funny article. Gotta love The Onion.

MPRE update

The results are in, and I am officially ethical enough to practice in every jurisdiction. Go me.

It's official

VS.

The Ohio State Buckeyes will face the Florida Gators in the National Championship, to be held in Glendale, Arizona.

And while I'm a fan of Florida's mascot, I'm 100% behind my alma mater. GO BUCKS!

(Maybe the Gators will be crushed by this Giant Buckeye of Doom. Ha ha.)

Yes, I'm still here

Okay, I know it's been a little while. But it's getting close to the end of the semester and I'm really pretty busy. But since I just found out today that my first exam is five days later than I thought it was, I figured I could spare a few minutes to update the ol' blog.

My first semester of Legal Aid is wrapping up. And by "is wrapping up" I mean "has me incredibly busy scrambling to get ready for an upcoming hearing and keeping my other cases on track too." I had my last ever class of Fed Tax on Friday. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it might be going in, but maybe I should wait to comment until after the exam (though I'm not terribly worried at the moment). Civil Rights is the class that has a later exam than I thought - a week this Wednesday instead of on Friday. It'll be nice to have the extra time to work on some of the papers I have due for other classes.

I also did what I expect was my last tour of duty of babysitting the courthouse for Trial Ad. Things went smoothly enough except for all the judges deciding to push through and finish trials before breaking for lunch. Since I have to wait until everyone's done before grabbing grub myself, this was a tad bit vexing. Plus it meant that my "morning shift" ended up being the "all day shift." But all's well that ends with yummy (and free) BW3's.

I'm definitely looking forward to being done with the semester in two weeks. By that time I'll be 5/6 of a lawyer (not counting that pesky Bar thing). Anyway, that's it for now. Sorry if this post hasn't been too exciting, but there should be a new 15 on 15 in a few days. And if that's not exciting enough for you either, well, you can always make a personal blog topic request. Just don't expect me to get to it before December 16.