Monday, December 18, 2006

Legal sbemail

Dear Strongbad, Alex,

Now that you’re 5/6ths of a lawyer, I was wondering if you’ve ever written a law casebook, what it was about, and what kind of laws did you try to teach the kids.

Your fan,
Steve Buttz

Sure I've written a casebook. Who hasn't? I mean, law students can barely read as it is, so how hard can it be to write for them? The casebook I wrote is called

Commentaries and Cases of the Law of Business Organization.

Commentaries and Cases on the Law of Business Organizations
No two corporations are the same.


Some people are about to be run over by a frolicking or detouring employee.
Frankie has about 5 seconds.


Some people are very tall and merciless.
Quincy is making a tender offer.


Some people set up LLCs.
Beth looks like a dude.


Some corporations are subject to Revlon duties.
Gregor is a weird name.


Some people have a duty of loyalty.
Some people have a duty of care.
Fran could play linebackers for the Raiders.


Some people have rigged the corporation with a poison pill.
Albert has.


Some people have shell corporations, and those are hot.
Trisha is a severe hottie.


Some people are being fangoriously devoured by a hostile takeover.
Hillary's assets are being digested.


Every corporation is different.
No two shareholders are not on fire.
Awwwww.

So there’s my casebook. Pretty good, eh Steve? And the laws we taught the kids were duties of loyalty, the law of agency, and um, linebacker. You know, education at its finest. Well some people need to go and get a life. Alex needs to go and get a life.

NOTE: If you are totally lost, go watch this, then come back. And if you still don't think this post was funny, well, I don't care. You write a humorous post, NERD.


Special thanks to Honor for inspiring for this post.

Friday, December 15, 2006

15 on 15 - Christmas Songs edition

Due to this being the end of the semester and the crazy tradition of final exams, explanations for this month's list will be light. And by light I mean non-existent. If you have any questions as to why something is on my list feel free to ask. The general answer is probably that "I have weird/eclectic/bad taste." Just as a general aside, I start the list off with a few humorous pieces that I expect most people will roll their eyes or groan over. Hopefully the top 10 in my list will be found a bit more palatable. But anyway, without further ado, my top 15 Christmas Songs (or Holiday Songs, if you want to be PC about it):

#15 - Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

#14 - You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

#13 - Snoopy's Christmas

#12 - Frosty the Snowman

#11 - Blue Christmas

#10 - Good King Wenceslas

#9 - We Three Kings

#8 - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

#7 - O Tannenbaum

#6 - O Little Town of Bethlehem

#5 - I'll Be Home for Christmas

#4 - Let it Snow

#3 - O Holy Night

#2 - White Christmas

#1 - Adeste Fideles

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

So this is what the inside of a courtroom looks like

I was in court yesterday, representing an actual client in a guardianship hearing. It was contested, but we prevailed. I've spent a good deal of time on this case this semester, so it was nice to see it come to a positive conclusion to wrap up the semester.

Yesterday's trial, by the numbers:

45 - minutes spent waiting for our trial to start (things were running a bit late)

4 - number of attorneys/law school interns present at the trial

1 - successful motion to separate witnesses (made by yours truly)

0 - number of opening statements given

6 - witness that I called and did direct examinations of

1 - cross examination performed

6 - documents I considered entering into evidence prior to trial

2 - documents I actually tried to enter into evidence

2 - documents successfully entered into evidence

1 - hearsay objection made by opposing counsel (to a power of attorney in probate court)

1 - quizzical look on the judge's face when the hearsay objection was made

0 - number of successful hearsay objections

1 - number of times a witness was distracted by "something shiny" while on the stand

1 - closing argument given by yours truly

2 - approximate number of minutes the judge spent before announcing his ruling

I'll also mention a few other interesting tidbits:

  • I made no objections yesterday. My supervising attorney did make a few objections, but the judge was pretty much overruling everything. But that's not all that uncommon in bench trials.
  • The judge didn't seem very interested in all the deferential niceties you learn in mock trail and trial ad. For example, after calling my first witness I asked the Court's leave to proceed. This was met with a somewhat snide, "That's why we're here." Also, requests for permission to approach the witness (with documents) were generally met with silence that I took to mean that I could move about the courtroom however I wanted.
Okay, now back to studying for finals, already in progress. (The studying's in progress, not the finals.)

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Troy Smith wins the Heisman



GO BUCKS!!!

That is all.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Funny

The BCS computers have deemed that no team is worthy of facing the OSU Buckeyes in the National Championship. So sayeth The Onion.

Some of my favorite quotes from the article:

"No team in America deserves to even step on the same field as Ohio State, let alone actually play in a game against them."

From Lloyd Carr: "[Q]uite frankly, I'd be afraid for our guys' safety if we had to go up against that defense again..."

Urban Meyer admitted that "being the SEC champion was not the same thing as being Ohio State."

Anyway, funny article. Gotta love The Onion.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

MPRE update

The results are in, and I am officially ethical enough to practice in every jurisdiction. Go me.

Monday, December 04, 2006

It's official


VS.








The Ohio State Buckeyes will face the Florida Gators in the National Championship, to be held in Glendale, Arizona.

And while I'm a fan of Florida's mascot, I'm 100% behind my alma mater. GO BUCKS!

(Maybe the Gators will be crushed by this Giant Buckeye of Doom. Ha ha.)

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Yes, I'm still here

Okay, I know it's been a little while. But it's getting close to the end of the semester and I'm really pretty busy. But since I just found out today that my first exam is five days later than I thought it was, I figured I could spare a few minutes to update the ol' blog.

My first semester of Legal Aid is wrapping up. And by "is wrapping up" I mean "has me incredibly busy scrambling to get ready for an upcoming hearing and keeping my other cases on track too." I had my last ever class of Fed Tax on Friday. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it might be going in, but maybe I should wait to comment until after the exam (though I'm not terribly worried at the moment). Civil Rights is the class that has a later exam than I thought - a week this Wednesday instead of on Friday. It'll be nice to have the extra time to work on some of the papers I have due for other classes.

I also did what I expect was my last tour of duty of babysitting the courthouse for Trial Ad. Things went smoothly enough except for all the judges deciding to push through and finish trials before breaking for lunch. Since I have to wait until everyone's done before grabbing grub myself, this was a tad bit vexing. Plus it meant that my "morning shift" ended up being the "all day shift." But all's well that ends with yummy (and free) BW3's.

I'm definitely looking forward to being done with the semester in two weeks. By that time I'll be 5/6 of a lawyer (not counting that pesky Bar thing). Anyway, that's it for now. Sorry if this post hasn't been too exciting, but there should be a new 15 on 15 in a few days. And if that's not exciting enough for you either, well, you can always make a personal blog topic request. Just don't expect me to get to it before December 16.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

My friends are AWESOME

It's been a really good day. Notre Dame crushed Army, and it was a lot of fun watching my last home game as a student here at ND. The Irish broke out the green jerseys - an interesting call. I like them, but they're thought to be cursed. When Notre Dame has used the green jerseys in the past - often in big games - the Irish tend to lose. But this game was supposed to be a sure thing, so we figured this was a way to break the curse and improve the green jerseys' record. But when the Irish started the game looking sluggish and Army jumped out to a 3-0 lead, we were worried. Luckily the team got their act together and ultimately prevailed 41-9.

And Ohio State won The Game - defeating archrival Michigan and clinching a spot in the National Championship. But the big news of the day is that I got to see the entire OSU-Michigan game today despite going to the ND-Army game. How you ask?


Because I have AWESOME friends. Right around the end of the first quarter of today's ND game, Brooke, Adam, Meghan, and Alina (in absentia) surprised me with an incredible gift - a pocket TV to watch The Game with. I wasn't the only person in the stadium watching a portable TV, but I became pretty popular with people seeking updates on the college football duel of the year. (Strangely enough, the ND game announcers didn't give very many updates on the OSU-Michigan game.*)

After the ND game, we headed back to Brooke's for Tortilla Soup (delicious, especially after a long day of standing in the cold) and to watch the end of The Game. Despite an explosive opening (Ohio State led 28-14 at halftime), it was a nail biter of an ending. Michigan played much better in the second half, and OSU had three turnovers. The Wolverines managed to pull within three points, but the Buckeyes held on for the win, 42-39.

So it's been a great day of college football, made even greater by my friends. So here's to Brooke, Meghan, Adam, and Alina - you rock.

* UPDATE: Apparently it was ND coach Weis's decision to not announce the OSU-Michigan score during the game:

"To make sure the Irish weren't focusing on anything else, Weis ordered that the Michigan-Ohio State score not be announced during the game."


But I think they did give at least one score update during the game... so who knows.

Friday, November 17, 2006

15 on 15 - Travel Destinations Edition

The 15 on 15 has been revived, and so I am now happy to present, albeit a little late, my top 15 travel destinations. These are the top 15 places I would choose to visit if I were lucky enough to be provided free round trip airfare and accommodations to anywhere in the world. (This month's 15 on 15 proposal explicitly excluded fictional locations [like the Beach Boys' Kokomo]. I'm also choosing not to include any off-planet destinations, for two main reasons: (1) presently, one cannot travel commercially off-planet [unless you're willing to shell out $20 million to the Russian government to see the International Space Station]; and (2) Honor wouldn't accompany me.)

And now, the list:

15. Easter Island - Because I want a head like the heads you see on Easter Island. Seriously, those giant head statues (moai) are cool. I also want to send my mom a post card from there. Back in 4th grade I was in a geography bee and was asked, "In what body of water would you fine Easter Island?" My mom, who heard "East Ireland," was shocked when I confidently replied the Pacific Ocean - and even more shocked when the moderator announced, "Correct." She realized her mistake a few seconds later, but it's something I still tease her about to this day.

14. Sonoma County/Napa Valley, California - Ah, wine country. I've been there once, but not when I was of legal drinking age. So I think a return visit is definitely in order. Aside from taking part in plenty of wine tasting (honestly, the road trip idea from Sideways is fantastic), I'd probably want to take a trip on the wine train (great food) and maybe even a ride in a hot air balloon.

13. Grand Cayman - Possibly my favorite Caribbean island. Grand Cayman boasts such attractions as: Stingray City, a sandbar where snorkelers and divers can feed stingrays; a sea turtle farm; and some of the best beaches I've ever been to. It's also the home banks that cater to the rich and powerful - a tropical Switzerland, if you will. Hmm, maybe I should join a tax firm that sends its attorneys to Grand Cayman. Honestly, you can hardly go wrong with a Caribbean island. But this one stands out in my memory as being really nice. And they have an awesome mascot - a pirate turtle! The currency exchange rate isn't really favorable to American tourists though.

12. Paris, France - Ah, Paris. The city of light, the city of love. You can stroll the banks of the Seine. You can have lunch in a charming outdoor cafe. You've got the Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triomphe, Notre Dame, Versailles, the Louvre... in short, there's a lot to see and do. Plus, you can easily take a few days to escape the city and venture into the countryside. There are castles in the Loire valley, or if you head further south (and east), there's the French Riviera.

11. London, England - I spent a summer in London a little over a year ago and loved it. There are plenty of sights and attractions and I barely scratched the surface while I was there. It's a bit crazy to navigate the city at first, but that's also part of the city's charm. If I go back, there are a few things on the top of my to-do list: take in a Shakespearean play at The Globe; ride the London Eye; tour Parliament; trek out to Windsor Castle; go to the theatre; ride the top of a double decker bus (stupid terrorists...); and of course, hit up a few pubs. Note: check out the sidebar (if you haven't already) to see photos of my stay in London.

10. Rome, Italy - I would love to get back to Rome someday. I did get to see some of the city back during high school when the Latin Club organized a summer trip to Greece and Italy. In addition to Italian food (and gelato!) , there's the rich history of the Roman Empire to take in. When I was there you couldn't actually walk around the Forum, so hopefully I'd get the chance to do that. It would be a lot of fun to just wander around the city, Roman Holiday style. And with a little extra time, I'd want to branch out and see other spots in Italy as well. The Italian countryside is very scenic, and I think it would be awesome to check out Tuscany. There's also Florence to consider, as well as Pisa and Venice - two cities I've never visited but would love to explore. But I'd still want to keep Rome as the home base of operations.

9. Prague, Czech Republic - I've only been here while staring at Scrabble tiles, and as vexing as that situation is, I'd love to see it for real. Prague is one of the most popular travel destinations in Europe, and everyone I've talked to recommends it. I hear it's incredibly picturesque, even by quaint European city standards.

8. Switzerland - Ah, the land of cheese, banks, and cuckoo clocks. And don't forget Lake Geneva. The country is nestled in the Alps, so I'd be looking to hit the slopes at least once while I was there. Since Switzerland borders Germany, France, and Italy, you can get a flavor of many different aspects of Western Europe. In fact, Switzerland is like the heart of Western Europe, if your heart were isolationist and neutral. Okay, that made no sense. Moving on...

7. Reykjavik, Iceland - No, this isn't on my list just because I like the city's name. That's only part of the reason. Seriously, I've heard Iceland is really nice. The country abounds with natural wonders from volcanoes to glaciers. There are also wildlife sightseeing tours. If you visit during the summer months you can experience the land of the midnight sun. Alternatively, Iceland is a prime location to check out the Northern Lights (aka the Aurora Borealis). Bonus trivia: Reykjavik is the world's northernmost capital, and hosted the epic 1972 World Chess Championship between Bobby Fischer and Boris Spassky.

6. The Greek Isles - Greece is cool, but I'd wager the Greek Isles are even cooler. The Mediterranean is beautiful in general, and the Greek Isles are home to especially breathtaking vistas. I don't really know enough about any specific islands, so I'm listing any/all of them as a potential travel destination.

5. Tokyo, Japan - The world's largest city. I'm not even sure I can articulate my fascination with this destination. Japanese culture in general is intriguing, and Tokyo is pretty much the center of that. I don't know what I expect to find visiting Tokyo, but I know a number of people who've been and really enjoyed it. I imagine it's something of an alternate reality New York City, but with more technology and shorter people. As those comical T-shirts quip, "I'm huge in Japan." Okay, so
I wouldn't be huge. But at least I'd probably be able to see over most people for a change.

4. China - Yes, it's a huge country. But I don't know of any particular city that I would choose to visit over any other. There's cosmopolitan Shanghai, the "Forbidden City" of Beijing, bustling Hong Kong... I'd like to see them all. And then there are more things to see that aren't a part of those cities - like the Great Wall and Tibet. Plus, there's the undeniable impulse to reconnect with some of my heritage.

3. Hawaii - The only other U.S. destination to make my top 15. In retrospect, there are probably some great American cities that could bump Easter Island off the list, but that was a much more entertaining entry. Anyway, there's no place in the U.S. I'd rather visit than Hawaii. A lot of that is probably because I've never been there. There are a couple different islands to sample, and there's natural beauty aplenty. I'd also want to check out Volcano National Park. Maybe I'd even get to see my distant cousin* croon "Tiny Bubbles." And it has the whole tropical appeal, with beaches and tropical drinks. In fact, if Honor and I ever decide to drop the whole law thing I've suggested moving out to Hawaii to open a tropical drink stand. (Oh yeah, the natives would
hate us.) If this plan is successful, everyone reading this blog is invited - first round's on the house.

2. Australia (Or New Zealand. Or Australia.) - Really, I'd like to see both Australia and New Zealand. And in a perfect world (why not? after all, we're already suspending disbelief to consider the benevolent random stranger handing out free travel vouchers, right?), they'd be part of a package deal. New Zealand is renowned for its scenic landscapes (and sheep - though admittedly, that's much less of a draw), and just seems like a really cool place to visit. I've wanted to visit Australia for about as long as I can remember. Maybe it's the whole southern hemisphere/standing upside down thing. Or the kangaroos and koalas. And duckbill platypuses. All the Aussies I've met (mostly students in London two summers ago) have been very friendly. So put another shrimp on the barbie, mate, and I'll meet ya down under.

1. Tahiti - This was a tough call, but Tahiti narrowly edged out Australia. I think the tropical aspect is what carried the day (especially given the fact that the South Bend winter is steadily approaching). Lush vegetation, sandy white beaches, the blue green sea lapping at the shore... it's relaxing just to think about it. Plus, there are nice coral reefs to snorkel or dive. And while I'm dreaming of such a getaway, I'd like to get a catamaran and sail around French Polynesia to hit some of the smaller surrounding islands and find those less accessible spots.

No honorable mentions this time around - in part because I'm feeling lazy, and in part because there are just so many great travel destinations out there to choose from. If you're looking for ideas, I'd suggest checking out lists by Derek, Brooke, and Craig.

* Yeah, so he's not really my cousin.

"We have Troy Smith. You don't."

For an entertaining preview of this season's biggest match up in college football (aka The Game), check out this story. It's a fun debate between an Ohio State alum and Michigan alum. They cover a lot of ground: rowdy fans, the Toledo War, Woody Hayes' infamous 1968 2-pt conversion attempt (OSU was leading 50-14), and even what game plans to expect from each team come Saturday. And don't worry, there's plenty of trash talk.

OSU-Michigan is a big game every year. This time around it's huge. And apparently it's the first time the two teams have met as 1 vs 2. I'm going to miss the beginning of The Game because I'll be in the Notre Dame stands watching the Irish pulverize Army. But after that I'm definitely catching the end of this one.

And as always... GO BUCKS!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Coming soon...

... is a new 15 on 15. Except it won't be on the 15th, obviously. Probably more like the 17th. I had hoped to get it posted tonight, but it's taking a bit longer than I expected and I have a number of more pressing matters at hand. So check back soon, passports in hand, for an exciting look at my top 15 travel destinations.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

MPREally?

So I took the MPRE today. You can probably imagine how psyched I was to spend my Saturday morning taking a standardized test on legal ethics. At least it's a short test - 60 multiple choice questions in about two hours. But in the grand tradition of all law-related examinations, it's almost impossible to figure out how it went. I've heard that everyone comes out of the test feeling nervous and unsure about how they did. From my experience and in talking with some of my friends, I'd say that assessment is dead on. I won't go into the nuts and bolts of it, but I'll just say that it wasn't quite like the practice tests I took while preparing. But 10 of the 60 questions are "experimental" and don't count, so I'm hoping the thornier problems fell into that category.

I also have to say that in my extensive experience with standardized tests, this one did not seem to run as smoothly as I would have expected. Usually there's a set routine, and the proctor goes through things methodically and mechanically. Maybe our proctor was just less experienced, or maybe the MPRE instructions aren't as scripted. But from the casual offering of #2 pencils to determining when to hand out the test booklets to dealing with addresses too long for the allocated space on the answer sheet, things just weren't handled in the regimented way I've come to expect from standardized tests. I'm not saying this is necessarily a bad thing, just different.

So as for this whole MPRE thing... I'm not sure what else to say. I'll get my results back in about five weeks and then I'll know which states think I'm ethical enough to practice in their jurisdiction. And, well, I could always take the MPRE again in March...

Sunday, October 29, 2006

A big day for OSU

Yesterday, one OSU team trounced Minnesota 44-0. Another OSU knocked off USC. It was a good day for both Buckeye and Beaver fans. Oh, and ND beat Navy. The Irish definitely had more momentum (that's mass times velocity, by the way) than the Midshipmen in the second half.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Geeking up football

Okay, just a quick rant here. Navy is doing really well this year and looks to win the "Commander in Chief trophy" (best record of the service academies) for the fourth straight year. This is all fine and well. But I have to take exception to a quote from one of the Navy players to the AP:

Ballard, who was named the game's MVP, gained the tough yards inside. Afterward, the economics major had a simple explanation for his success.

"A lot of it is just momentum," he said. "You know, mass times acceleration. It comes down to that." (emphasis added)


Okay, I know the guy is an econ major, but if he's going to talk like this someone has to sit down and teach him some physics. Momentum is NOT mass times acceleration - it's mass times velocity (p = mv); Force is mass times acceleration (F = ma). Seriously, what are they teaching these kids at Annapolis?

Friday, October 06, 2006

Beware the sake bomber

No it's not an ethnic slur along the lines of "I totally got Pearl Harbored!"

And it's not a more successful relative of Chicken Teriyaki.

It's actually a drink - and apparently it's bad news. According to famed tennis player Roger Federer, one sake bomber during dinner can lead to violent nightmares, hallucinations, extreme disorientation, generalized paranoia, and even personal injury.

So I'd recommend skipping the sake bomber and sticking with a pan-galactic gargleblaster.

A brief State of the Alex post

I realize I haven't talked much about my life on this blog lately. I'm guessing at least some people who visit this site may actally be interested in my goings-on and don't just come for the witty commentary on random stuff.

So, a brief rundown on all things in the world of Alex.

Classes are going well. The current lineup is: Civil Rights, Law & Psychology, FedTax, and Legal
Aid. Civil Rights is interesting stuff. So far it's pretty much been all §1983 all the time (not that that's a bad thing). And sometimes we get fun multimedia presentations. Law & Psych is interesting stuff. A fair amount of it is review from my undergrad psych days. For example, we've talked about stats, corrleation not implying causation, and even looked at the Milgram and Zimbardo experiments. But there've also been some fun cases, like the infamous case that raised "the twinkie defense." FedTax isn't nearly as bad as one might think, and we even get to hear about interesting stories like setting up a baseball team as a charity or how Al Capone was ultimately brought down for tax evasion.

The Legal Aid classes are okay (sometimes it's actually fun - Professional Responsibility Jeopardy!, mock motion hearings, and a mock trial of Don Quixote), but the main reason to take Legal Aid is for the clinic. I can't go into specifics of what I do at the clinic (due to confidentiality), but so far it's been very interesting and rewarding. It's introduced me to a lot of law I haven't studied much in my other classes, so there's considerable learning on the fly. I've worked on guardianships, powers of attorney, and a social security benefits. I've also had a successful hearing in court, so my current trial record in actual cases is 1-0.

I only have classes on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, but I don't exactly have days off - I usually spend Tuesdays and Thursdays at the clinic. The clinic can definitely eat up time, but at least I'm enjoying it.

Outside of classes and the clinic, I've been trying to enjoy my third and final year of law school. There's ND football on Saturdays, with "tailgating without a tailgate" (which sounds like a great name for a show on TBS - along the lines of "Dinner and a Movie" or "Movies for Guys Who Like Movies"). I've had one friend visit and attend a game so far, and this weekend my sister and her boyfriend will be in town to see ND trounce Stanford. My friends and I have also been making regular outings to Fiddler's Hearth, the best Irish Pub I've ever been to. And while the weather's been nice, I've played the occasional round of golf. Or prehaps I should say I've gone out and tried hitting some golf balls around, because calling what I do "golf" is probably an affront to the game.

Ok, so enough about me. I want to hear about what you have to say about me. :)

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Interesting legal tidbits of the day

Strange laws courtesy of my "Legal Lunacies" page-a-day calendar:

Featherbeds were once outlawed in Buenos Aires, Argentina, because they encourage "lascivious feelings."


"My rise to power might have been much more difficult if that one hadn't been repealed..."

In Turkey during the 16th and 17th centuries, drinking coffee was a serious crime punishable by death.



Ye Olde Starbucks's business model did not call for expansion to Ankara.


In Uruguay, duels are illegal -- unless both parties are registered blood donors.


"If only I could have changed the venue to the banks of the Rio Negro..."
[Ed. note: Yes, I know Uruguay didn't even declare independence (1825) until 21 years after the duel (1804). Just go with it.]

Monday, September 25, 2006

So long and thanks for... the prosthetic tail

Check this out. Surely the dolphin will express her thanks with a surprisingly sophisticated double backward somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the Star-Spangled Banner.

And now, just for fun:




Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Arrr, it be ITLAPD


Avast me hearties! Today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Get ye out the jolly roger and run up the rigging. What say ye? Ye be wantin' to pillage me grog? I be disinclined to acquiesce to your request. (Means 'NO.')

I be doin' me part to help all ye on this fine holiday. Here be a good website describin' the origins of ITLAPD.

Needs ye help learnin' how to talk like a pirate? Check ye out this instructional video. It be a fine piece of work. But remember, they're more what you'd call guidelines than actual rules.


Nay, Jim Lad. Ye got to stretch out yer 'arrr.'

Arrr, a happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day to all ye salty sea dogs and saucy wenches. May today be a day of calm seas and smooth sailin'.


Yarrr, it be a good day to be a pirate.